SlushPile Hell

One grumpy literary agent and a sea of query fails

59 notes

I intend to secure an A-list actress for my trilogy of books, specifically Keira Knightley. I intend to send Keira $150,000 to read my first two books and the synopsis for the third book. I intend to retain an entertainment lawyer to represent us, and said lawyer would write a contract for Keira Knightley and send the $150,000 via her agency. If Keira Knightley likes the books and agrees to take the role within our time frame, then she keeps the $. If not, she returns the $.

I have a better idea. Send me $150,000 to read your first two books. If I like the books, I’ll keep the $. If I don’t like the books, I’ll still keep the $, but occasionally I’ll have pangs of guilt over it.

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    Have I mentioned yet today now much I love this fucking blog? I love this fucking blog.
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  10. beckyblackbooks reblogged this from slushpilehell and added:
    One of the more delusional queries from Slush Pile Hell.
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    *** ….oh chil’.
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